entitlement.

Good morning World. A day off so i find myself sitting here with my usual morning routine; coffee, yogurt, #shereadstruth and the word of God. It has become the most special time of my day as I spend time with the Lord seeking Him and trusting in Him for my day and what is to come. Lately it seems like most days are a battle. I find myself struggling with a range of emotions, even at times struggling to convey to the Lord exactly how I am feeling. At times its because I am ashamed or feel like I have no right to feel the way that I do, other times its because I don't really know how I am feeling and then there are times when I am overjoyed and strengthened by his peace but fear that it will only last as long as my quiet times. Wow, from I guess it would seem like I am quite a wreck! Well let me assure you, God is doing something big in me, while at times its really hard to see, and at times I have absolutely no idea what He is up to, I do realize that I am being refined, even if its just in the tiniest way each day. (and often it does feel like I am taking one step forward and two steps back.) But with that said, God smacked me in the face with something today, although not really a new topic to me, it is a topic that I really want to capitalize on and trust God to continue to make changes in my heart. Its this idea of blessings. Its this concept of feeling like I have 'the right' to something, or an 'entitlement' to it. To me honest, I am sure it isn't something that only I struggle with. I realize that its our first world generation that struggles with this. To the person that comes through the drive through angry because they have received the wrong order and demands that we give them their money back after they have eaten the entire thing to the person who is upset when their significant other doesn't get them flowers on valentines day. Its their right, right? WRONG! I don't know where our culture and society have the right to think that we are entitled to anything. I'll tell you what we are entitled to. DEATH! We are deserving of nothing. Zip. Zada. NOTHING!!!! Myself included. It sounds a little harsh right? One would think that because we are so 'me' focused. Long ago, when God was walking in the garden with Adam and Eve EVERYTHING good was given, when the fall happened, this shift took place and we became worthy of nothing. Skip ahead thousands of years and God created the way through Jesus Christ on the cross to take that entitlement of death and give us LIFE. That is the biggest blessing we could have received and will EVER receive...Yet why do I still continue to feel like I am entitled to things, stuff, situations, jobs? I can't really explain it other than the fact that we are human. As I am human and I do believe that the best blessing I could have ever received is Christ, its time for me to really start living like that. To walk with a thankful heart for the little things that God has given me, to be thankful for the big things that God has given me. The blessings of family and friends close and far. The blessings of shoes on my feet, a roof over my head, a job to provide (even though I dislike it at times.) The blessings to be able to FREELY study and spend time in his word, to listen to music, to see the smile of a child, to walk in the snow, to have a car. So many of these things I can easily take advantage of. People, this life is a gift. Everything in it is a gift. It is time we start viewing it that way. Its time I start viewing it that way. It seems as I had kind of lost my way. But I am thankful that God graciously shows me the things I need to learn. It truly amazes me how good He is. 'Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack! The young lions suffer want and hunger, but those who see the LORD lack no good thing.' Psalm 34:8-10