This is Real Life....

Its been quite sometime since I have written on this blog, I blame that on a couple of things, the busy-ness of life, getting married, moving to Canada and my heart. I can never seem to put into words what I am feeling at the moment and how God is continuing to mold me and transform me in this season. To be perfectly honest most of the time, I am feeling like I am failing...a lot of the time I feel like I am failing Him, other times its Ryan and mostly I feel like I am continuing to fail myself. Its a weird feeling, because in the midst of it all I can stand on the truth in knowing that even as I am failing, I am blessed with a Father that continues to take me back failure after failure. There are times in life when its hard work. I would say that this is definitely one of those times. Marriage is hard work ( But the most amazing hard work EVER.) Working at a job you dont really like is hard work. Living in a country with not a lot of community is hard work. If God is teaching me anything right now, it is that there is a lot of value in hard work. We are not promised that this life will be easy, in fact we are promised that it will be hard, there will be challenges and that we will stumble and fall. But we have to get back up! As the last couple weeks have flown by and I have been a wave of emotions trying to wrap my head around things, I feel like God shook me with this verse. 'Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.' Colossians 3:23-24. It has been so easy for me lately to complain about my circumstances, it has been so easy for me to forget that The Creator of the Universe has a Plan...a plan that is bigger than mine, a plan that includes me. This stage in life is part of his plan. I am to seek joy in the littlest of things. To not get so hung up on the circumstances but find joy in them. I am beyond blessed to be where I am at, to have a wonderful and loving husband and to be working hard at a job. There are many people in life that dont have these things. I pray that I will not take the little things in life that I have been given for granted and I pray that you wouldn't either. Here is a little excerpt from my prayer journal this morning: 'Father, help me to be grateful for the fact that your ways are higher than my ways and your thoughts are higher than my thoughts. Father, forgive me if I have been selfish with your gospel. I do not want to be selfish with the most amazing thing I have EVER been giving. I want to be marked with holiness and filled with thanksgiving and joy...' So my challenge today for you and myself is that, to have a grateful, thankful heart and to trust in the circumstances that we are in. Gods ways are higher than ours. His plan is bigger and much more PERFECT. 'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.' Isaiah 55:8-9