Good morning friends and family. I sit here on my Sabbath just writing an update because well…its about that time again. 4 months have come and gone and God has been forever faithful. I love it here, I really do. Above really loving it here….I love my Creator. Every single day I find myself just thanking him for the relationship that I have with him. I was deciding whether or not to do a video update today but I decided against it because I just figured I would be a little too emotional for it.
This past week has been a good one. By far the toughest week I had in SBS by far. At one point, I do remember the words coming out of my mouth…. ‘I don’t want to do this anymore…SBS that is…’ Father forgive me for those words. They were out of pure exhaustion, physically, mentally and emotionally. God has been rocking my world and every single book just seems to top the one previous. I have never been blown away by God’s word so much.
I write today to speak on a few topics that have really just been on my heart and that I have deeply been pondering since I have been here. First off, this idea of faith and God being faithful. In our society today we leave little room for God to be faithful as we develop a faith that is based more on what we can do rather than what God can really do. I have never been so tested with my faith since I have become a Christian. I am not referring to my faith in Christ and him as my savior but more so the idea that God is faithful and I have faith that he will provide in all area of my life. Does God even want to provide for me? Is he good? Does he really care about the little things in my life? Am I worthy to ask for things from God? I think the biggest thing that I have been wrestling with lately is this idea of Not fully trusting God for things in my life because I have this honest fear that He wont provide. That is such a skewed thought process. One that has developed over time, as I have grown up, as I have been let down by people and the world around me…I have this fear that the Creator of the Universe is going to be the same. BUT there is good news….HE IS FOREVER FAITHFUL. That provision may never come like I want it to look like but its exactly how He wants it to look and it cant be any different because its not in his nature to be unfaithful. Its impossible for him. WOW. God is so amazing. As I sit here spending time with him in this amazing little coffee shop I am processing somethings through the book of Genesis that I just studied last week.
God was so faithful, from beginning to end. When man was stupid, fallen, screw ups, not trusting in Him, worshiping other gods…GOD WAS STILL FAITHFUL. He still desired people. He desired them to know him, to be his children, to give them promises, to speak life into them. Man was continually stupid (much like we are today ) and God was continually faithful. (much like he is today). For our Final Application for the book, we were asked what character we related most with, I picked Jacob. Jacob wrestled with God. Much like I feel my heart does on a daily basis. I think so much of it was in Jacobs head. He had seen God continually be faithful, he has seen God shower mercy and love to his people. He has seen God provide time and time again but he still had the hardest time trusting him. God just had to smack him around a bit. It was good. But that is much like the process God has been taking me through in my life. He is faithful. Continually. In the midst of everything I am going through. He comes through. WOW. It blows me away. I have to trust in his goodness. I have to trust in his character and nature. HE IS GOOD.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knows, the door will be opened.” (Matt 7:7-8)
The next thing that has really been on my heart through out SBS is this growing desire for Asia, for missions and for the gospel to be spread. This honestly is so foreign to the majority of Americans. We all tend to go about our lives doing the things that make us happy or the things we think make us happy…yeah I will admit my heart was there at one time. But its not now….I don’t think that living the American lifestyle is wrong, I have a lot of friends that choose that and they are some of the most amazing people. I am only saying that I have been woken up to what I feel like God is calling me to. What is amazing about is that I see such a desire that God has for the people of the world. All of them. Americans, Taiwanese, Chinese. We are all his children and he desires to use all of us. ALL OF US. Some for going, some for sending, some for working, some for preaching, some teaching, so building…we all have some sort of calling on our life. The most important thing we could do in our lives is be obedient to that calling. Whatever it is and to through our entire selves into that calling. I think of Paul, I think of the way that when he was called for the kingdom, he didn’t hold back. HE did EVERYTHING that God asked of him, When God said Go he went, He trusted that God would be faithful and that He knew that God was so deserving of every single ounce of him. That’s how I feel right now. God is so deserving of everything I have to give. I understand that its all a process though. It doesn’t mean that I just jump right into what God is calling but the process of getting to the final destination is how God prepares us and works in us. Right now the first step in that process is finishing SBS…4 months down….5 to go. WOW. Its flying by.
I come before you humbly and just ask you for your prayerful hearts. In my biggest struggle to know if God will provide, especially financially for me to be here. I feel like he has called me here. I feel like there has also been obstacles in front of me as I have been here. All of which are hard but leading me to lean on him so much more. As my brothers and sisters in Christ, I pray that you would ask if there is any way you could help meet my need. If its only prayers…honestly that would be just enough…if you feel led to give…that would be more than amazing. Whatever the case, I hope this blog post/ letter just help open your eyes to where my heart is right now. I could not be doing any of this without your support in my life. I thank you all so much for the ways that God has been using you in my life and I pray that God would continue to work in your life and be refreshing your spirits. Below are a few specific prayer requests…please email me with what I can be praying for you as well.
Prayer Requests:
*School fees: are due in less than a week, and due to 2 unexpected Hong Kong trips for visa runs I need $1000 for my school fees.
*Basic needs: for food, toiletries and the ability to get coffee on Sabbaths ☺
*That God would continue to put Taiwanese in my path that I can share the gospel with and build relationships with.
* My new relationship with Ryan ☺ that God would be directing and guiding us with exactly what he has planned in the future for us!
Love you guys, May God bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you. AMEN!
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