5.20.11

I find myself continually at a loss for words when I am wanting to blog. I have such a deep desire to write and share what is on my heart but then it seems like when I start to type the words just go somewhere else than on the page. For some reason this week seems a little different. As we are finishing up one of my favorite books in the entire bible, Romans, I realize that I have been faced with so many challenges this week, some big, some small, some pointless but all have meaning. Whether I really have been able to process it or not, God is breaking me. He is molding me for something bigger than myself.

'For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.' Romans 3:23-24

Um if that doesn't hit you smack in the face, I don't know what does. I am a failure. I am a dirty sinner. BUT through Christ I am justified. Through a free gift that I didn't have to do anything for but just accept. WOW. As I begin to realize my dyer need for the one who has created me, I cant help but just fall to my knees and be thankful that in everything situation he has me. He is carrying me along in the palm of His hands...
I am truly nothing without Him. This is both humbling and heart breaking.
I go about my week and do my charts sometimes I feel so close to the Lord and he is breaking through with amazing revelation. Sometimes I sit there and stare at my computer. I watch my fingers hit the keys and think to myself that I am so amazingly lucky that I am chosen. That I am HIS.

I am reminded of Isaiah 43. (1-4)
'Fear not for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name, YOU ARE MINE.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;
they flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the Lord, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior...
Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
and because I love you...

as days pass into weeks and weeks are passing into months. I know a few things to be true...
God is EVERYTHING, that i need, want and could possibly ask for.
JESUS is the only way.

Although my thoughts might seemed somewhat jumbled, they make complete sense to me. I am continually blown away by how God is continuing to stretch me, excite me and use me even here in Taiwan. I love it here. I love my classmates and staff. I love the people of Taiwan.
'I am melting your heart for Asia' He tells me.
I get to interact with beautiful people in their rawest form without a single thing in common with them. For the ones that know him already. MY heart melts...



For the ones that don't know him yet.....my heart breaks....

God is transforming me for the people of this world. I am a vessel for kingdom of God and I pray he uses me to the fullest.