Its sunday morning, Sabbath, although my body gets a day of rest, my brain does not...nor does my heart for that matter. This week has been a battle. A battle of grief, of figuring where God is in the midst of numbness. In the midst of being alone. He is right here. Thats the most amazing thing. He takes me under His wing and tells me not to be worried. I am clinging to the fact that I know that God is good. That He is faithful and that He sent His son for me. For my brokenness, for my sin. I am continually battling with this idea of 'doing' the right thing, the right amount but continually i am reminded that its not about my 'doings'. God wants my heart. ALL of it. In my brokenness, in my ability to not do anything, in my desire to give everything I have or not physically give anything at all.
I know that God has promised me suffering, he promised me pain but a bigger promise comes after that....Sorrow will be transformed in to JOY. pure and complete Joy. God is the only one that can offer this transformation. The world will only leaving you searching for more and more and causing temporary fulfillment for the pain that you are experiencing.
As I continue to plow my way through the bible, learning more and more about God's word, His vision, His love and His desire for His people. I find my world is being rocked, I find myself questioning things I have never questioned before. I find myself relying on the only one that can give me revelation and give me hope. I praise Jesus for His Spirit. I praise God for His son.
I wish there was more I could give, I wish there way more I could say but I find myself just having to sit back and be in the presence of God to just let my heart and head take it all in...
Praise Jesus that He is forever good.
Priase Jesus that He is the ULTIMATE sacrifice and that true freedom comes from Christ alone.
May He be my EVERYTHING.
prayer requests:
-Diligently pursuing God in the midst of the hard times.
-that God would take me deeper in his word.
-For strength and energy.
-Finances.
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