So today is the day. I did it. I bought my plane ticket to Taiwan. Its bitter sweet to think about leaving in a month...the beautiful place I know is home..the beautiful people i call my family....but I trust that God has me right where He wants me. I trust that He is leading and guiding me every step of the way. Hopefully it will be for the next 9 months in Taiwan at the YWAM base...but it could be shorter. It could be longer....
Today God really opened my heart and eyes on trusting Him for the day. Just the day. Not two days ahead. Not a month ahead. But just trusting Him for the day. I can't begin to express the deep amount of joy that the Lord gave me this evening. I was laughing non stop for like ten minutes right after i had been crying for ten. It was nothing more than just me and Him. Nothing more than just surrender to the King of Kings. My beloved.
"You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent." Psalm 30:11-12
I know that I don't have to have it all figured out. I do know that I just need to come to Him with my hands open..both of them...not hiding one behind my back....
The hand that was clinched tightly behind my back was my family and really close friends. My family means the world to me. I value their opinion so much. I want them to be proud of me. Excited for me and excited with me. The same goes with my friends. I don't want to leave them. I don't wanna miss out on the fun stuff they are doing..on the ways that God is working in their lives. Its so incredibly unselfishly selfish of me. How can i please the Lord if I am always trying to please man instead....I can't. It was time to take a stand on this.
With that said, Many of you might not understand why I am choosing to do what I am choosing to do...but that okay. I don't expect you too. I would ask that you would love me and support me. That you would trust that I am listening to God. That He has me protected. That He has my best interest at hand. That He will provide...That is just who He is.
To be completely honest...i am so scared. So nervous. So excited. Its going to be a day by day process. I will be keeping you updated on how God is working and revealing Himself to me through this whole process....
praise Jesus. God is amazing.
'But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.' Matthew 6:33-34
'What then shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all- how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?' Romans 8:31-32
Amen!
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