Well today was not the day i expected it to be..it was so much more in ways I never thought it could possibly be. Our team was scheduled to do evangelism and prayer walking with a local church. Little did I know what offering two band aids and a granola bar to a homeless man would turn into.
As Carol and I approached him..(we will call Him "George") we figured that George just needed a little Tender Love and Care and maybe a "Dios te bendiga!" It turns out He needed a lot more than that. As we got closer and started to really observe our surroundings I realized that there was quite a bigger issue going on. Then the smell hit me, what I thought was throw up sitting beside him turned out to be fecal matter that was consuming his entire lower body. I am pretty sure I threw up in my mouth. My heart ached. I really didnt know what to do, do i walk away? Do i try and help him? Do i clean it up? So many thoughts and decisions running through my head. As I took my eyes off his pants and focused down to his legs, I began to realize that there was something sticking out of the dried blood that covered his left knee..yes, it was bone. Never in my life have i seen someones bone sticking out of their leg and they were just sitting there like nothing was really the matter. What was I, a little 23 year old missionary from Oregon supposed to do?
My heart was breaking. Again praying and asking God what to do. About this time the Pastor we were working with and the other group of men showed up. We started to get out any first aid stuff we could, water, baby wipes, iodine to simply clean him off a little bit. He was resistant at first, as were we with the horrific smell that was overpowering in our noses. But as the Pastor sent some men back to the chruch to get new clothes and water to clean George up. I bent down looked him in the eyes and asked him gently if I could start washing His feet and legs. As i scrubbed off the dried blood, dirt and feces I kept asking Jesus "where are you right now? Where are you in all this?"
His small wisper told me gently.."Don't you see Noel, I am right here. You are playing my role." As I looked George in the eyes, I knew not only was I playing the role of Jesus "to serve the least of these" but Jesus was actually in front of me. Although He was there not quite as I had imagined him. Dirt and rags looks a lot different then my Beloved that I envisioned in my dreams.
Matthew 25:40 The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."
As i continued to wash George's legs, the smell evaporated, the fear of getting germs and anything else on me for that matter just washed away. " I will walk in LOVE not in FEAR." I kept reminding myself. As my other teammates went to get him some food, I just sat right now next to him. I couldnt help but want to help him. To love him. To save him. To clean him. To cherish him. This was God's son. He was dealing with a lot of opposition, maybe even demon possession. I casted out evil as best as I could, I just sat there speechless. I really didnt know what more to do. But to pray. I didnt even know what to pray for.
Matthew 23:11-12 "The greatest among you will be your servant, For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted."
Jesus reminded me that we are here to serve those around us, that just because I had clean clothes and food in my belly that I was no better than George. I wasnt. I am not. I will never be. God really opened my heart and mind to this concept today. My life is not my own. Its not what I can do for myself but how can I serve those around me.
At one point it didnt seem like He wanted to change out of his dirty pants. Ansen made the comment which i found to be so true of all of us at times. "You know, we are no different then him. Sometimes we all like to sit in our own shit."(excuse my french.) I got to thinking. This is so true. Sometimes we need someone to offer us new pants, to even clean off our legs and wipe our butts sometimes. You know that anaolgy really sucks to think about, but we can all be so stubborn at times that we don't like to change our pants. But whats important to realize is we always have the option to change our pants. We are always gonna have the option to put a new fresh pair on. Sometimes it might come from someone else picking us up and litterally changing them for us. Sometimes we might have the option to buy a new pair ourselves.. but whatever the case the option is always there.
Our God is a loving and gracious Father. I can openly say that I doubted where He was today. I did. Its sucks and I did. But i do know that He showed up. I do know that His heart was in that situation. I know that as a fallen world we do sit in our own shit sometimes, but he always offers us clean pants. That is just the kind of God He is. He isnt a God that gives us more than we can handle. Sometimes He gives us a lot..but its never more than too much for us.
Romans 8:38-39 'For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.'
By the end of the afternoon after about 4 hours of tending to George..praying, washing, feeding, etc, he finally has on clean clothes, food in his belly, my shoe lace for a belt and Ansen's shoes on. Who knew that 3 missionaries from Australia would be forever changed by one man who didn't have it all together. I am so thankful that I don't serve a God of religion but a God of grace and love. I watched a lot of people walk by and turn the other cheek today. We as Christians are not called to do that. I hope that everyone really takes a second look at the next homeless person they walk by, maybe its Jesus you could be serving and maybe God could be calling you to play Jesus' role. Just open your eyes people and smell the crap around you. Its time to put on new pants....
god is good. always.
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