staring to redesign my world.

Its Saturday morning here in Mexico City, after two weeks of being here...God has been really opening up my eyes to sooo much. A world that was like nothing I have ever experienced before, not just the atomosphere of Mexico but the atmosphere of living with 6 other people and not having any place to go to be alone. Its much different from the freedoms that I experienced in Oregon or even the experences that I had in Perth...non the less, God is at work. In me. In my heart. In Mexico City. In my team. He is on the move.

I just finished an amazing book, that over the last two weeks has given me deep perspective on my reasons for being here. For living this life. For loving my Savior. For walking in the Spirit. Etc. The book: Dreaming With God: Co-laboring with God for Cultural Transformation By Bill Johnson just really rocked my world the last two weeks. I just want to share with you a few things that God really spoke to me through this book.

I am learning that I am such a worker, and do-er. But I am learning too that the motivations has to be right behind it. " Working from His presence is better than working for His presence. Pastor Mike Bickle puts it best when he says that there are lovers and there are workers. And lovers get more work done than the workers! A passionate lover will always out perform a good servant in pleasing Him."

God just really challenged me to look at my motives. Why am I working? Is it from Him? or for Him? Am I passionately loving the things I am doing or am I just doing them to mark of the checks on my "Christian list?" There are times when it is definitely the second one. Its a process of checking myself daily. Thats the hard part.

My heart has just been awaked. I desire excellence which is much different from perfectionism (which can never be achived.) But I was created for excellence. Doing the very best I can with what I have. And always seeking more. A deeper revelation. A desire for wisdom. Godly wisdom. "Divine wisdom springs from integrity, and becoming manifest through creative expression with excellence as its standard" (pg.45) I want divine wisdom to advance the gospel. To be a witness for God. I want to live a Kingdom oriented lifestyle. I don't want this life style to be conformed to 4 walls of a ministry organizations. I want to break the walls and the standards that separates. Father give me divine wisdom, creativity and integrity. That is my prayer.

Mr. Johnson goes on to say that "Our hearts can embrace things that our heads can't. Our hearts will lead us where logic would never dare to go...courage rises up from within and gives influence over the mind...It comes from the heart. We do not believe because we understand; we understand because we believe." (pg. 58-59)

This was a very interesting part of the book for me as I have constantly dealt with unbelief concerning logic...its amazing though as I choose to trust in the Lord and listen to His voice He is breaking down the walls of logic that I have built up. He is teaching me that its okay to question things...but just to come to Him with those questions.

At the end of the day...all I want is my quest to be this..an authentic gospel with no walls, no impossibilities and an absolute surrender to the King and His Kingdom.
Amen!

God is good.