Well sort of that is. I am awakened by the fact that i sent someone a text and i fell asleep waiting for their response. I still haven't gotten it yet...but as i lay here and cant seem to fall back asleep in the silence of my apartment because one i am the only one in it and two because i am fasting from music right now..which let me tell you in the one day that i have been fasting from it has already been so hard. I don't really know why i cant seem to get back to sleep but my mind seems restless, i am not sure for what reason but it bothers me. My mind has seemed really restless lately. Especially since finding out that the plans i had for myself after college are not the same plans that God seems to have for me at the moment. i really have no clue what his plans are for me. The only thing that seems to come to mind is Hebrews 12 I am trying to find comfort in this:
Hebrews 12:1-7
Therefore , since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My sons, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and punishes everyone he accepts as a son." Endure hardship as discipline;
So as i am reading this passage, I am asking myself what is the Lord trying to tell me here. What is he pointing out to me? What are You trying to tell me Father? I think its somewhat clear. Although i feel like I am not struggling with the sin that I once was, its important to note that i am growing somewhat weary and might feel like i am losing heart. I know in full that the Lord is my ROCK. The one that i hold on to in times of hardship, this he disciplining me to refine me. Because he loves me. I know that the Lord has great plans in store for me, even if i cannot see the big picture of what they are. Be strong! Be strong! Be strong! and work! he tells us in the Book of Haggai. Look at Abraham and David, look at how he rewarded their perseverance and patience as they waited on him. Our relationship with him is so vital that sometimes he has to withhold things that we think would be great to show us this.
Father, I trust you with my whole heart to do your will in me and create in me the path of righteousness for YOUR kingdom!
god is love.
1 comment:
Sister, you can get through this time with HIS strength and when you look back to see how far you have come and when you look back onto this time, where you WILL perserve and prevail, it will be such an amazing testimony! I've been wanting to get the tattoo "stand firm" for a long time now, maybe we need to get another sister tattoo!!! I know you can pull through. Just continue to make the great decisions you have been making and also know if you are facing temtation in your discouragement you can always call or just come to our house. I love you sooooo much and am so incrediably proud of you! God is love, and HE is your love and that shows!!!
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