tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43596611795531177752024-02-19T18:18:40.359-08:00 life. lets. awaken. hearts.miss.noel.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701688013461612138noreply@blogger.comBlogger172125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4359661179553117775.post-41984529721874746392013-09-18T09:24:00.001-07:002013-09-18T09:24:19.442-07:00the fog has lifted.Let me start off with a little bit of a disclaimer in this blog post: This is my heart (not my husbands or those around me), raw and exposed, in no way is it to bring anyone down but rather its a way to share what God has been teaching me through the process of life. Life is messy and with that said,I would like to share with everyone where my heart and head have been the past few weeks.>>>
Now you may be wondering what that disclaimer is about and without going into detail for the sake of those I love and respect around me, lets just say a lot has been changing in our church. When things change in churches people tend to fall on both sides of the fence, it can get messy. Hearts can get hurt. People damaged. Unfortunately it seems that is exactly where things have come to. When things come to this is can be very easy to focus our eyes off of Christ, and on to people, or ourselves, our wants, needs, hurts, desires. Its human nature for us to do this. I myself can say that I have been guilty of this lately. Sometimes its taking a step back from everything to refocus our eyes on the VERY ONE we are trying to serve. Sometimes its processing, venting, praying, worshiping, uniting, hugging but above all else we MUST refocus our hearts to the very one we are trying to serve. No matter how hurt, damaged, frustrated, angry, happy, challenged and overwhelmed. I woke this morning and it truly seemed like the fog had lifted. Now i know this isnt going to be the same for those around me but for me i was overjoyed. I wanted to worship at the feet of Jesus. My heart was THANKFUL. My heart IS thankful. These words jumped right off the page and glued themselves to my heart this morning. >> Psalm 86-10-13 says <i>'For you are great and do wondrous things; you alone are God. Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name. I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify your name forever. For great is your steadfast love towards me; you have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol.'</i>>> Our God is GOOD! He is so Good. In his goodness and graciousness He saved us. He saved us from HELL. Wouldn't we want to believe that this same good God, this ABBA Father would want to redeem the hard situations of the church. Not the way we want them to be redeemed but the way HE wants them to be redeemed. People are messy and so are situations but God is so gracious to not give us more than what we can handle and exactly what we need. Lets take our eyes off of ourselves and our human situations today and focus on why Christ has called us to be set apart. On why we are called to set aside our differences and love one another kindly and gently. I pray that the fog will be lifted from those around me that are hurting and that they too would be able to refocus on CHRIST. Amen. miss.noel.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701688013461612138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4359661179553117775.post-12202746663797034432013-08-02T14:05:00.001-07:002013-08-02T14:12:24.626-07:00From Tim Hortons to Baby Breker.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYnyh3pI0t_rqDp1xmmgysnCticmuQqBL6i14LewMGZ8KVTRnp9Jz6XIohL76qnsK2QHVooR729zTxjcJ_E4Cv5VZhA5bBS9Tt1Vls3pSl0Ds2UDWFzz04MN9YBvWzzuvP7azRRGPzO3c/s1600/554870_10151798316602962_540933289_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYnyh3pI0t_rqDp1xmmgysnCticmuQqBL6i14LewMGZ8KVTRnp9Jz6XIohL76qnsK2QHVooR729zTxjcJ_E4Cv5VZhA5bBS9Tt1Vls3pSl0Ds2UDWFzz04MN9YBvWzzuvP7azRRGPzO3c/s320/554870_10151798316602962_540933289_n.jpg" /></a>Ah once again I begin to write. With so much JOY in my heart. Its been quite a while since an update was given and so so much has changed. A month and a half ago I quit my job at Tim Hortons. For most of those who know me you know that was the best decision I could have made for myself, my body, my marriage, my heart, my emotions and everything else in between. It was beating me down in more ways than one. And over the past year at work, it was hard to be a Christian. It was hard to choose Christ everyday rather than hate the rude people around me. Believe me, it seemed like almost on a daily basis I was being conflicted with that choice. There are many many words I know that I could say about working there, many of which are not good and thats part of the reason why I haven't really even written anything in the past month and a half. I have been giving my heart time to heal. Time to take everything in. To take a step back and just trust that God is bigger and has better things in store even though I had NO CLUE what that was going to look like.>>>During the month before deciding to finally quit, I feel like God gave me some clear direction that it was okay to let go and step back from the job. I was to quit and trust him completely for what was in store. So many thoughts ran through my head, Will my husband be upset that I am not working? How will we pay down our school loans? How can we survive on one income? How can I not be lazy and waste my time? How will I fill my time? How do I really trust God and commit to this? Question after question stirred in my head and a simple "Trust Me" was all i needed from my Father to know that everything was going to be taken care of, and that HE IS IN CONTROL.>>> Fast Forward 4 weeks, I had quit my job at TH and Ryan and I were jumping on a plan to Oregon for holidays. The week went by, visiting friends and family, enjoying amazing food, coffee, beer, conversations, adventures. Not to mention being REALLY tired and peeing quite often... then it happened, you guessed it, We found out we are expecting. A little bambino. A peanut. A child, so precious and so perfectly planned in the Father's Eyes. What an amazing experience to get to share with our closest friends and family while we were there. And now to get to share with all people who are apart of our life. We arent sure whats a head and daily its a constant surrender to know that God is in control and His way is truly best. I often think that if I hadnt been obedient to quitting TH would God have given us this precious gift. I am not truly sure but it definitely change my perspective, my calling and my wildest dreams overnight. I am excited for this next season of life. I am ready for the challenges and the joys that it brings and I have to constantly remind myself that God is good. His plans for me are good. The last year I have learned a lot about myself, my Father and trusting Him. I am sure its in preparation for what is ahead. I am excited for it.>>> 'Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rives in the desert.' Isaiah 43:19miss.noel.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701688013461612138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4359661179553117775.post-90337903050378361402013-04-25T08:50:00.000-07:002013-04-25T08:50:02.885-07:00time of preparation. As I sit here today just reflecting back over the last 10 months of being in Canada, I am brought back to the few things that God told me before I came here. About a year ago when Ryan and I were praying about whether we should live in Canada or Oregon and trusting in our Father to give us an answer, He did just that. God told me that we were to live in Canada, while we were there we would work hard to pay off our school loans ( In process with one paid off, check.) We would be here to serve. Serve in Ryan's home church and begin to call it our own. A church that might be a little more 'traditional' than we were used to and it would be a season to give as much as we could to the church to have a family of believers to send us out when His timing was right. And lastly He told me it would be a time to just build up our marriage, to enjoy one another and learn what it is like to be partners together. // I sit here today, 10 months later just overwhelmed by God's amazing goodness, by His overwhelming love and His unbelievable faithfulness. God has truly allowed all three of these promises to be in full swing. Not only have we paid off one of my school loans, which seems like the smallest thing of the three things He called us to. // Our Marriage is growing stronger each day. Its not without the hard work that each of us put in to keep God first on a daily basis and to trust that He is in complete control. It is amazing how I can come to admire my husband and fall more and more in love with him each day, not because he does such sweet and loving things (don't get me wrong, he does these things) but its because Ryan allows himself to be used for kingdom purposes. He allows himself to be used as a vessel for God's glory and through that he challenges me to be a woman after God's heart. I am blown away by him. // Lastly God has called us to serve and be a part of a church here in Canada. This is the church that Ryan grew up in. His family has been a part of for the last 24 years. They have watched the church change and grow in those long years. It is now to the point where we get to be a part of that change and we are old enough to really partake in it. (which at times is both good and bad) Ryan and I have been praying about how we can be involved and it seems like opportunities keep coming out way. Ryan has been asked to be a part of the preaching team, where he fills in about one sunday a month, we have started leading a mini SBS class to teach members of our congregation how to study the bible inductively and Ryan has been asked to join the LT (Leadership Team) as a part of the church for the next two years. Some big and amazing opportunities that God has given us as a part to really be a part of this body and growing the church in Canada. // I know that the time will come when God will say GO! And we will Go. But I am really learning that there is ALOT to do with the preparation of things. This is our time of preparation. This is our time of trusting. serving. hoping. praying. and knowing that our heavenly Father is in complete control and using us for his purposes. He is so so good. // 'For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever. and his faithfulness to all generations.' Psalm 100:5
Also, incase you were wanting to listen to Ryan's most recent sermon check it out <a href="http://www.camrosechurchofgod.ca/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/2013-04-21.mp3">here</a> at Camrose Church of God website. miss.noel.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701688013461612138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4359661179553117775.post-47678834637008073902013-04-01T12:44:00.002-07:002013-04-01T12:44:52.752-07:00school loans, trusting God, provision indeed.A very wise man once told me that debt is bondage. It doesn't matter the type of debt, it still keeps you held down to owing money to someone for something. This has been a true statement for me ever since I graduated University in 2009. Just to give you a piece of my heart, there has been many times since graduating college that I have regretted even going to college at all. 60,000 dollars later and I have nothing to show for my degree but a piece of paper. It's a really heavy feeling when all you want to do is share the gospel with people in Asia and be submersed into full time mission. But God is always oh so gracious. In every season that He calls us to and brings us through His hand is upon us. I am feeling his grace right now. Its an overwhelming feeling. God has been gracious to grant Ryan and I jobs that make it able to pay some of these loans off, He has been gracious to help us learn to spend our money wisely and still be in a position where we can give to those who are making a difference in His kingdom. I want to give him all the glory. To be honest, this is the first time in my adult life that I have money to always fill up my gas tank, buy groceries, save and give. Although I know this too is a season and things will change when Ry and I make our way back to Asia, none of this would have been possible without His provision, grace, love, mercy and encouragement.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I want to encourage young adults around the globe, to trust in the heavenly father, especially regarding finances. He is gracious to provide in his timing. He calls us to work. To work hard. To trust Him. At times that may look like a fast food job and making a wage lower than you think you deserve. At times that may be stepping into your life 'career' and watching God use you to provide for missionaries around the world. Whatever the case may be, we seve a God that deserves all the glory when things are good and go right and we serve a God that deserves all of us even then things are hard. When you feel like you cant pay your bills or fill up your tank with gas. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Along with encouraging you to trust God with your finances, I want to urge you to act responsible. If you are planning on going to university, educate yourselves on school loans, interest rates and create a plan that will help you graduate without 60,000 in debt. (You never know how God is going to use you after school, it may not even be with your degree). If you are out of school, and are struggling to pay your loans, figure out a budget, a plan and stick to that. Its going to be hard work but the pay off is so much greater when you can trust in the Father and give Him the Glory!>>>>>>>>
On a last note, God is continually redeeming my heart when it comes to going to school. While feeling like it was pointless, I see that not only was there a VERY IMPORTANT reason for me going to school, (Christ found me.) It has also taught me amazing lessons of learning how to struggle and trust in my Father to provide for the things that I need.
Thank you LORD.
>>>>
Romans 8:28 'And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who called according to his purpose.'
miss.noel.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701688013461612138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4359661179553117775.post-22393125005939589482013-03-20T08:12:00.001-07:002013-03-20T08:12:28.941-07:00my God answers prayers. The last few weeks in life have been crazy busy but amazingly joyful at the same time. I recently got a surprise birthday trip to go back to Oregon for the weekend and let me tell you it was so refreshing for my soul in many many ways. I couldn't really see it until after I got back and I really had time to reflect on things that it was all apart of God's plan from the beginning. From accidentally getting more time off work than i had originally requested, to the surprise birthday party that my loving friends threw me because they know exactly how to speak to my heart to just the amazing sister bonding time and one cant forget the special moments with my beautiful niece and family. My weekend would have been complete at that. As sunday came, I got to go to church (something that is often rare in Canada because my work schedule is so all over the place) I was delighted to be back in my home church, hearing beautiful worship and listening to Pastor Steve. Little did I know that God was already moving and preparing hearts to get know/trust/walk/desire Him. As I was sitting in church praying desperately for a person i love dearly next to me ( I will leave their name out because I havent formally talked to them about writing this yet) I was praying that God would just continue to touch and comfort them through this sermon on Paul's conversion. They had not been to Calvary much and were still 'trying it out'. Towards the end of the service I just kept repeating the prayer to God, "please let them go up and receive prayer, please let them go up and receive prayer, God they need you, they need your comfort, your perpective, you to rule, to be King." We moved into our last song of worship as the sermon had been over and my spirit was stirring. God was moving. A little tug on my shoulder and I was asked to go up with this person to receive prayer. Unsure of what the prayer was for, I helped pray with this person to recommit their life fully to Christ. AMEN. Hallelujah the Angels in heaven are rejoicing. My God is a God that saves. My God is a God that hears. My God is a God that answers prayers. I had to share this experience because not only was someone close to me truly brought into the family of God but my faith was strengthen as my King answered one of the most beautiful prayers right in front of my face. He is so Good. He is so giving and I will choose to follow and trust in Him all of my days. miss.noel.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701688013461612138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4359661179553117775.post-54266829743152961272013-02-15T08:48:00.001-08:002013-02-15T08:48:22.139-08:00entitlement.Good morning World.
A day off so i find myself sitting here with my usual morning routine; coffee, yogurt, #shereadstruth and the word of God. It has become the most special time of my day as I spend time with the Lord seeking Him and trusting in Him for my day and what is to come. Lately it seems like most days are a battle. I find myself struggling with a range of emotions, even at times struggling to convey to the Lord exactly how I am feeling. At times its because I am ashamed or feel like I have no right to feel the way that I do, other times its because I don't really know how I am feeling and then there are times when I am overjoyed and strengthened by his peace but fear that it will only last as long as my quiet times. Wow, from I guess it would seem like I am quite a wreck! Well let me assure you, God is doing something big in me, while at times its really hard to see, and at times I have absolutely no idea what He is up to, I do realize that I am being refined, even if its just in the tiniest way each day. (and often it does feel like I am taking one step forward and two steps back.) But with that said, God smacked me in the face with something today, although not really a new topic to me, it is a topic that I really want to capitalize on and trust God to continue to make changes in my heart.
Its this idea of blessings. Its this concept of feeling like I have 'the right' to something, or an 'entitlement' to it. To me honest, I am sure it isn't something that only I struggle with. I realize that its our first world generation that struggles with this. To the person that comes through the drive through angry because they have received the wrong order and demands that we give them their money back after they have eaten the entire thing to the person who is upset when their significant other doesn't get them flowers on valentines day. Its their right, right? WRONG! I don't know where our culture and society have the right to think that we are entitled to anything. I'll tell you what we are entitled to. DEATH! We are deserving of nothing. Zip. Zada. NOTHING!!!! Myself included. It sounds a little harsh right? One would think that because we are so 'me' focused.
Long ago, when God was walking in the garden with Adam and Eve EVERYTHING good was given, when the fall happened, this shift took place and we became worthy of nothing. Skip ahead thousands of years and God created the way through Jesus Christ on the cross to take that entitlement of death and give us LIFE. That is the biggest blessing we could have received and will EVER receive...Yet why do I still continue to feel like I am entitled to things, stuff, situations, jobs? I can't really explain it other than the fact that we are human. As I am human and I do believe that the best blessing I could have ever received is Christ, its time for me to really start living like that. To walk with a thankful heart for the little things that God has given me, to be thankful for the big things that God has given me. The blessings of family and friends close and far. The blessings of shoes on my feet, a roof over my head, a job to provide (even though I dislike it at times.) The blessings to be able to FREELY study and spend time in his word, to listen to music, to see the smile of a child, to walk in the snow, to have a car. So many of these things I can easily take advantage of.
People, this life is a gift. Everything in it is a gift. It is time we start viewing it that way. Its time I start viewing it that way. It seems as I had kind of lost my way. But I am thankful that God graciously shows me the things I need to learn. It truly amazes me how good He is.
'Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack! The young lions suffer want and hunger, but those who see the LORD lack no good thing.' Psalm 34:8-10miss.noel.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701688013461612138noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4359661179553117775.post-30677524050752671272013-01-20T18:07:00.001-08:002013-01-20T18:07:52.219-08:00Visas, devotionals, waiting and heartsMy anticipation and excitement grows as I wait in patience for my visa to go through, a long wait a may be but a trusting one. For those of you who don't know, when you marry someone from another country and you move to their country and you are trying to get a job where you want to work, well let's just say its not an easy process. The last 6 months have consisted of gathering a lot of paperwork, filling out forms, tears from feeling overwhelmed and of course lots and lots of prayers for direction, patience, peace and hope.
I now have sent my visa off and the excitement is growing, I have been prays no for a miracle to be honest, that God would provide the visa in miraculous timing and while I want to be hopeful, I am quite doubtful...this has been a hard season of life. Period. While don't get me marriage has been amazing, this season of life has been one of the hardest in a different way. a lonely way. Coming into the new year I was not satisfied with feeling lonely. I was not going to let the enemy continue to feed off of my negative lost feelings. I was going to continue to press into the Lord when times were hard and when I felt like he was distant. I have proceeded to do just that and it's amazing how God has taken me and gently warmed my heart. How he has taken me through this season and given me what has felt like a fresh start. He has reminded me of what it means to fall in love with my Savior again. He had reminded me that every difficult season has a purpose behind it and He never gives us more than we can handle and more than that He has reminded me of His constant unfailing love for me through His Ultimate Sacrifice of Jesus.
Although this season has been hard, I wouldn't change it for the world, He is always always good. I am thankful for that. May He be glorified in all season, times and hours. He is worthy of all the praise and glory.miss.noel.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701688013461612138noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4359661179553117775.post-1977941072455461692012-12-04T09:17:00.001-08:002012-12-04T09:17:58.706-08:00This is Real Life....Its been quite sometime since I have written on this blog, I blame that on a couple of things, the busy-ness of life, getting married, moving to Canada and my heart. I can never seem to put into words what I am feeling at the moment and how God is continuing to mold me and transform me in this season. To be perfectly honest most of the time, I am feeling like I am failing...a lot of the time I feel like I am failing Him, other times its Ryan and mostly I feel like I am continuing to fail myself. Its a weird feeling, because in the midst of it all I can stand on the truth in knowing that even as I am failing, I am blessed with a Father that continues to take me back failure after failure. There are times in life when its hard work. I would say that this is definitely one of those times. Marriage is hard work ( But the most amazing hard work EVER.) Working at a job you dont really like is hard work. Living in a country with not a lot of community is hard work. If God is teaching me anything right now, it is that there is a lot of value in hard work. We are not promised that this life will be easy, in fact we are promised that it will be hard, there will be challenges and that we will stumble and fall. But we have to get back up! As the last couple weeks have flown by and I have been a wave of emotions trying to wrap my head around things, I feel like God shook me with this verse. 'Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.' Colossians 3:23-24. It has been so easy for me lately to complain about my circumstances, it has been so easy for me to forget that The Creator of the Universe has a Plan...a plan that is bigger than mine, a plan that includes me. This stage in life is part of his plan. I am to seek joy in the littlest of things. To not get so hung up on the circumstances but find joy in them. I am beyond blessed to be where I am at, to have a wonderful and loving husband and to be working hard at a job. There are many people in life that dont have these things. I pray that I will not take the little things in life that I have been given for granted and I pray that you wouldn't either.
Here is a little excerpt from my prayer journal this morning:
'Father, help me to be grateful for the fact that your ways are higher than my ways and your thoughts are higher than my thoughts. Father, forgive me if I have been selfish with your gospel. I do not want to be selfish with the most amazing thing I have EVER been giving. I want to be marked with holiness and filled with thanksgiving and joy...'
So my challenge today for you and myself is that, to have a grateful, thankful heart and to trust in the circumstances that we are in. Gods ways are higher than ours. His plan is bigger and much more PERFECT.
'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.' Isaiah 55:8-9 miss.noel.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701688013461612138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4359661179553117775.post-12548239853053286552012-06-14T08:42:00.003-07:002012-06-14T08:42:37.044-07:00in the world? of the world?As I stand in the shower this morning, praying and thinking about the upcoming events in my life and thinking about where I was a year ago. Almost to the day, Ryan and I were on a beach in Taiwan having that first chat about starting to date and take our relationship to the next level, we were exhausted from 3 crazy months of studying the bible inductively and I personal was just so overwhelmed with the love of Christ and being in another country just praising God for the things that He was doing in me and through me for the Kingdom of Heaven.
At that point in my life, I never thought that I would be where I am a year later. Almost married, working for the man (or at least thats what it feels like somedays), finding myself concerned with the ways of the world at time and no so concerned with advancing the gospel to those who really need to hear it most. And well frankly, maybe I am being a little hard on myself, I really don't know. All I know is that my heart is constantly being tugged back and forth of this idea of being in the world but not of the world. It seems like it was just so much easier to think on things of the Kingdom when I was constantly surrounded around other believers. When my daily goals and tasks were revolved around ministry and studying the bible, to be perfectly honest, I desperately miss that.
John 17:16 'They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world.'
John 15:19 'If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.'
Life is hard when you have to walk with Jesus on your own.
But in the midst of this challenge, my eyes are constantly being opened. I am realizing that God wants to use me in some pretty neat ways. Even when I fail, He still wants to use me. Even when I don't get to see the big picture. He is challenging me and growing me for the time when he needs to stretch me most and use me in ways I could never even begin to imagine.
I don't know if this blog was supposed to be an encouragement to those who are in the same place as me, or it was just to vent of the things of my heart at the moment, but whatever the case i do know and believe that GOD IS GOOD. ALL THE TIME. His purposes and ways are so beyond my thinking and comprehending. He is trustworthy, faithful, and full of provision when I least expect it. I would NEVER want to follow any other religion, Creator other than the One who truly paid the price for my freedom. He is my reason for getting through the times when it seems like I am just going through the motions and He is the reason for the times when I am actively in a ministry organization, reading the bible 12 hours the day. Be reminded today that He always needs to be the reason. Not the ways of the world, the paycheck you will receive or even the grade on the book of John that you will get.
Jesus, you will be my reason for this day, as I go to work and make money, may I honor you and glorify you in all that I do. May I look for opportunities to be used by you for the advancement of your Kingdom. Amen.miss.noel.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701688013461612138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4359661179553117775.post-68574347213242744742012-05-21T09:00:00.001-07:002012-05-21T09:00:34.035-07:00faithfulness in the midst of the engagement season.I am once again constantly reminded of how faithful that our Father in heaven is. I havent written in a while for a couple of reasons, one because I have been too busy to write, second because I feel like I havent had much to say. That is because I am currently in one of the most interesting seasons of life. The engagement season....
Dictionary.com defines engagement as a couple of things:
1. the act of being engaged or engaging
2. an appointment or arrangement.
3. betrothal
4. a pledge, obligation or agreement.
The Bible doesn't exactly define engagement but it shows it in a couple of ways:
-In Genesis(24): We see the process of courtship when Rebekah gets chosen to be the wife for Isaac and it was a process of praying and seeking the Lord, of trusting that she would be allowed to come back to become Isaac's wife. and that was that, She returned to Isaac not even knowing him, and was to be come his wife.
-In Esther(2): We see a process of women being prepared before hand to be chosen by the king, for courtship (well sex) But in this case it brings up an interesting point.... 'Now when the turn came for each young women to go in to King Ahasuerus, after being twelve months under regulations for the women, since this was the regular period of their beautifying six months with oil of myrrh and six months with spices and ointments for women...'
-Basically there isn't much on a 'courting' or 'engagement' season of life in the bible. People were usually in arranged marriages and that was that, they just got to it and got married. (I just added these two stories because I have always found them to be so interesting.)
The American Society would seem to define engagement in a couple of ways:
-A fun season right before marriage where a couple plans a wedding ceremony and reception to celebrate starting their life together
or
-a difficult season where the stresses of finances and figuring out how to plan a wedding, honeymoon, and life that follows.
(I may be generalizing a little bit here)
Okay, so now back to why i truly felt led to write this morning...This has been a difficult season for me and I am a person that just wants to be honest about where I am at for the sake of anyone else that is going through the same exact thing.
Throughout this entire season, I know that I can say two things for certain. God, the Creator of the Universe is BEYOND faithful in all situations, and I CANNOT wait to marry my best friend in the entire world.
I am in a process of learning what it means AGAIN to completely rely on My Father in Heaven. Life is good. Jobs are good. Friends are good. I am seriously blessed beyond believe with amazing support. You might even be wondering why I am writing today because I am pretty freakin blessed. Dont get me wrong, I am definitely blessed. But in the midst of this blessing, I have to realize on a daily basis, on an hourly basis that God is my center. Its not about me. Its about Him. Its not about how hard I work, Its about Him working through me. Its not about money, its about trusting in Him to provide. Its not about seeing my fiance before the wedding, by more so about the work that He is doing in each of us as we are apart from one another.
I feel so incredibly blessed to serve a God that doesnt give up on me, even when I am overwhelmed and want to give up on myself. I feel so blown away that the Creator of the Universe would be so inclined to care about the depths of my heart and the daily to-do lists that I need to get done. I am blown away by how gracious the King is when I choose to do something else than spend time with him. He always remains faithful even when I seem to be faithless.
You may be asking Why? Why would a God continue to love and give and provide and give rest and hope when I have chosen to do things on my own? I HAVE NO IDEA. I am undeserving but yet Its just who he is. AMAZING
'No, in all these things we are more than conquers through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the LOVE of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.' (Romans 8:37-39)
Take hope, dear friends, Life is rough, especially sometimes when its supposed to be the most joyous season of your life, But God is doing a work in your life. He is doing a work in my life. Its just a process of getting a different perspective on it and trust in the One that has paid the price and offered you UNCONDITIONAL love.
Thank you Father that you always amaze me. Your love is always refreshing and new and that you are constantly faithful.
Bring on the Marriage Season where I am sure God will continually be amazing me in his faithfulness.miss.noel.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701688013461612138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4359661179553117775.post-45683378090306565122012-03-13T08:53:00.003-07:002012-03-13T09:08:49.097-07:00a thankful heart to start year 25.'Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.<br /><br />Do ALL things without grumbling or questioning, that you shall be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the WORD OF LIFE, so that in the day of Christ, I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain. Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith. I am glad and rejoice with you all. Likewise you also should be glad and rejoice with me.' (Philippians 2:12-18)<br /><br />This is just a beautiful reminder today as I sit here feeling completely blessed on my 25th birthday. I have been so blessed to live the life that I have lived and to so much of the world, I am practically living as a princess. To God, I am his princess, His chosen daughter and I will walk out his will boldly in my life. This is the commitment that I make to myself and to God today on my 25th birthday, This life is not my own, I will walk where He wants me to walk, I will run where he wants me to run, I will rest where he wants me to rest and I will let him be King over my life. I will work on having a joyful outlook that walks in trusting My Father and the will that He has on my life. He has been nothing but Good. Nothing but Faithful. It blows me away to think about actually. As much as I want to say that I am doing it on my own, Its much like Paul was speaking in these verses, 'work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, FOR IT IS GOD WHO WORKS IN YOU, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.' I can only be surrendered to what He wants to do in and through me. Father, I am ready, I am yours, I am surrendered and falling on my knees...<br /><br />I am so very thankful for the times that my parents took me to church when I was younger, while I couldn't see the path that God had planned for me or the adventure that He has me on for most of my adult life, I recognized very early that Jesus was my Savior. He was the Way the Truth and the Life. I am thankful that I get to walk in this light and I have the freedom to share it. I am thankful that God has called me to be a part of his kingdom and advancing it. I am thankful that I have found a man that will push me to walk in the light and walk in the direction that God is calling me to. I am thankful for the most supportive friends and family who truly believe in me. I am thankful for China, for all the adventures that God has for me, the hard times that are bound to come and I am thankful that above anything else, I have My Father who will never leave me or abandon me. All the praise and glory be to you My King. <br />Here is to a good year, lead by Christ....miss.noel.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701688013461612138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4359661179553117775.post-80839899305656359682012-02-07T10:56:00.000-08:002012-02-07T11:35:19.346-08:00All the honor to Him.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim5gOTTXOZS5rdvRf7uIV6IQ3WzN816K3Nf8P0_hGEqLjCCoLLHc25Cn74OxdTcn4g6we6n7tlCcUBpdDP_Q6Fg0Lkke1gllcIrzjH69NAiHyFads3Hyu6mAbt0aeNkzPCscGeiK-v8EY/s1600/IMG_0469.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim5gOTTXOZS5rdvRf7uIV6IQ3WzN816K3Nf8P0_hGEqLjCCoLLHc25Cn74OxdTcn4g6we6n7tlCcUBpdDP_Q6Fg0Lkke1gllcIrzjH69NAiHyFads3Hyu6mAbt0aeNkzPCscGeiK-v8EY/s400/IMG_0469.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5706479525940953138" /></a><br /><br /><br />Its been a great morning. I love days off. (I can say that now that I officially have a job. PTL) Let me just start off with a little update to let you all know that things have been going well since I have been home. Yes, God provided me with a job in His perfect timing and Ryan has also started his reading course so he is staying REALLY busy as well. We had been praying about a church to get involved with and it seemed like God already had plans for us. Calvary Chapel of Salem has been my 'home' church since I started attending with my family in the 7th grade and while it was never really the church that I came home looking forward to going to, as soon as we got back here I knew that God was putting it on my heart to get involved there. The perfect opportunity came along and Ryan and I will be leading the young adults there. Did you hear that LEADING...ahhh i am a little bit nervous to say the least. That means we have complete control to share what we want to share, focus on what we want to focus on with being lead by the Holy Spirit of course. This is such an amazing opportunity and I dont even really feel qualified for it to tell you the truth. I do realize that as I open myself up to God and the ways that He wants to work in and through me, anything can happen. I feel like again I am really being challenged to know God's word (even though I just got done studying it for the last 9 months), I am being challenged to have a servant attitude that really pushes me to trust God to use me in other peoples lives and I am being challenge in learning what it means to start leading young adults (not just those who are my friends), speaking truth and being a person that other turn to. I am learning how to do all of this with an amazing teammate. <br /><br />The last couple of dates I have opened up to the book of Romans and I have really been thinking about this young adults group. Romans, one of my favorite books of the bible is one that tends to smack you right in the face with your own sinfulness and just how much you truly need Jesus. I am realizing even today that I need my Savior more and more each day. I am realizing that everything works in this weird cycle that righteousness only comes through Christ but that we are called to be righteous. I am realizing that now that I am home, I am back in what some may call 'real life', I am really challenged with my response to how I am going to share the gospel, live the gospel, speak the gospel. <br /><br />'For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believers, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. For in it the rightousness of God is revealed FROM FAITH FOR FAITH, as it is written, <span style="font-style:italic;">"The righteous shall live by faith.'</span>' (1:16-17)<br /><br />Wow!!! is all I can really say in response to that. Its only by Christ that I can walk in righteousness. Its only by Christ that I can walk by faith. Faith that He gives me to have Faith in Him. Simple right. It is when you are just willing to walk with a surrendered heart knowing that this God that we serve is the MOST AMAZING. He is completely GOOD. We are the broken, dirty, sinners. We in our own selfish nature are unrighteous. HE MAKES US RIGHTEOUS. I am challenged to have Faith in God for this group. I am challenged to have faith in God for visas, plans, a paycheck, for everything that may seem of this world. Its all guided and directed by the Creator of the Universe. WOW. I see that it is so easy to think that I can do it all on my own. That I would make myself into my own God or that I would be the one to guide what happens in my life. <br /><br />'For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God, or give thanks to him, but they became futile (or empty and vain) in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened...because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen!' (1:21-25)<br /><br />At the end of it all, I realize that I do not want to be like one that honors myself and the things of this world above God. He is my Creator. He is my EVERYTHING. May all the honor and glory and praise be to Him. Its all by his sovereignty, grace and mercy that I can sit here today and have the heart and the life that I have. <br /><br />OHHH He is GOOD.miss.noel.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701688013461612138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4359661179553117775.post-37547798218837138012012-01-23T13:36:00.000-08:002012-01-23T13:48:14.243-08:00a day of productive things.Home at last. Home at last. Yet at the same time it doesnt really seem like home at all. This time is different. There is a different agenda and God is so graciously letting me get back into the swing of things on his timing. I have yet to find a job but i think that has probably been a blessing in disguess that I dont quite understand. I have been able to really have sometime to adjust back into real life and hang out with some of the most beautiful people in the world. My friends and family that is. The time to really just reflect on SBS and fall more in love with Ryan has been awesome. I am currently doing my best to just keep myself busy and really looking forward to serving and seeking the Lord however he desires of me. I am realizing more and more that seeking God in a situation where you arent required to sit down and study for 8 hours is hard work. I am realizing its harder work than being forced to study.( Not that I was every really 'forced' to study the bible) But with that said I am allowing myself to come surrendered to the feet of Christ. Coming surrendered really has allowed me to see that its not always about the feel good situations, its not even about the amount of time that I am able to spend set aside with the Lord, but its the quietness that I can bring myself to before him in understanding that he is going to show me and speak to me exactly how he wants to. Its trusting that My Creator is going to show up in unexpected ways and greet me with the loving compassion that He has. He is continually good. Even when I dont have a clue what is going to happen next. Believe me I have no clue at this point...but he knows and that gives me so much rest for my soul. <br /><br />This has been the verse of my day. <br />'Be strong and courageous. Do no fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.' (Deut 31:6)<br /><br />I thank you Father that you are always there. That you are always the one that remains constant. <br />God is good. ALL THE TIME.miss.noel.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701688013461612138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4359661179553117775.post-12993423244545726212012-01-09T22:45:00.001-08:002012-01-09T22:46:31.108-08:00a quick reminderMy beautiful best friend gave me this reminder today. What a joy it brings. <br /><br />'God will provide. He wants to get glory out of you guys, and will go to extreme measures in order to get attention for the good that comes out of seemingly impossible situations, in order that people will know that it was not out of human wisdom that you guys get blessed and things work out, but it is only something that God can (and will) do. Your faith will be rewarded--He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.'miss.noel.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701688013461612138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4359661179553117775.post-5717913264787065512012-01-06T11:16:00.000-08:002012-01-06T11:42:24.314-08:00on the road again...its almost that time to be on the road again. I am finishing up the lovely time that I have gotten to spend in Canada with Ryan's amazing family. And when I say amazing I definitely mean it. Such a true picture of sacrificial love and such givings hearts I have been beyond blessed being here. Sometimes I feel like I could just stay here forever because its so nice. <br /><br />I know that its getting to be that time where I have to again face reality. I come before you all just asking first and formost for prayer. The last 3 weeks have been such a sweet time of rest. For my body, soul and spirit. Its now time to tackle life at its fullest. All with new exciting things ahead. I know that God is faithful and I know that His plan and direction is perfect even when at times it doesn't seem like we can see what is ahead. I kind of feel this way right now. In the grand scheme of things I am asking for God to do the impossible but I serve and trust and believe in a God that can do the impossible. His absolute truth and word tells me this. <br /><br />"Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.' (Matt 17:20)<br /><br />But Jesus looked at them and said,"With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." (Matt 19:26)<br /><br />These two reminders really hit home today as I think about the impossible things that are ahead. Things that to the normal person would seem as if life is sinking and there would be no way to over come what is in front of me. I know that God has called me to work hard, I must first work hard at seeking first the kingdom of heaven. That is where my life comes from. It does not come from monetary gain. It does not come from doing it all on my own but it comes from a surrendered heart that trusts fully in my father to provide in those desperate times of need. To do the things that only HE can do. <br /><br />My heart is on full board to just completely trust what God has for me. I find myself going back to this verse over and over again. I am beginning to think its my verse for 2012....<br />'And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.' (Romans 8:28)<br />I believe that God has called both Ryan and I to come to Oregon. That is what we are doing. It would have been so much easier to just stay in Taiwan at times and study the bible. This next adventure is going to be trusting God to lead and direct our relationship. To show us how to work for the kingdom in the midst of the 'real world'. Its going to be trusting God for the impossible like jobs and visas and all that jazz. Please, and I say Please from the bottom of my heart be praying for us. We need prayer....<br /><br />>That we would have a continual desire and urge to dig deeper in a relationship with the Lord and trusting him FULLY for what he has in store for us. We know that He is a good Father and that He only has our best interest in mind.<br /><br />>For a Job for me to really start saving and be able to pay my monthly bills. This is something that it definitely needed as to be honest, I am basically living on nothing. I know that God will provide and i trust him completely. I am just looking for him to open the door for the right job. <br /><br />>Visa situation with Ryan, This one is really tricky and with the laws we are really not sure where to go from here but just trusting that God knows the plans that He has for the future for us. Ryan is planning on doing a reading course with YWAM in Oregon so he will still technically be in missions at this point. We are trusting that God will continue to provide financially for Ry as well also just showing him his purpose in Oregon as he continues to dig deeper in studying the bible and theology. <br /><br />> Lastly if you could be praying that God would be showing us how to get plugged in with the local community and churches. We are going to be looking for opportunities to give out what we have learned for the last nine months and really reach out to a church. <br /><br />Thank you all so much for your prayers and support. I would love to sit down with any of you and just talk about life and catch up. Please get a hold of me if you are interested in learning more about what went on in my life the last nine months or if you just want to hang out...i am down for that too. :)miss.noel.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701688013461612138noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4359661179553117775.post-38083927707040414112011-12-21T04:56:00.000-08:002011-12-21T05:26:10.473-08:00it is finished. rest for my soul.So after 9 months of SBS I am official done. I sit in a cozy bed at 5:57 am (thank you jet lag) in the morning in Camrose, Canada. Let me tell you it has been one heck of a journey. To truly describe to you the last 9 months of my life would take quite a lot of time but i will do my best to make it short, sweet and to the point. To have accomplished studying all 66 books of the bible the last nine months has truly been the hardest most rewarding thing in my life. I cant believe that I got such the opportunity to learn God's word. AMAZINGGGG. It was such a blessed opportunity where time and time again I saw God's protecting, providing hand in my life. I am forever changed by his word and the promises that it has to offer. I have come away with a new found love for my Abba and a desire to allow His truth to flow in and through me. My heart is so full. I wish i could fully allow you to see the ways that God challenged me and pushed me to limits I never thought that I would go. In the midst of studying his word, He challenged me with a relationship and that too has been such an amazing part of the last nine months. Finding someone to walk along with and being challenged to love selflessly and unconditionally. I don't know how Jesus did it so well. If I had to ask myself a few questions about the last nine months as a way to truly describe my heart and my relationship with the Lord and how life has changed, these would be them (with the answers of course) <br /><br />What has been the most rewarding thing that you have learned the last nine months? <br />The most rewarding thing that I have learned the last nine months is the fact that I feel like i truly am beginning to understand the ROCK that I stand on. I am beginning to truly understand my identity in Christ and I see the true purpose of grace in my life. It all comes from getting to see God work from the beginning. God was so incredibly faithful to his people from the beginning. He was so sovereign and ALWAYS knew what was going to happen next. He was/is always in control and unconditional love that he has for his people truly blows my mind. Now i'll be the first to admit i don't know everything about the bible. I don't really even know much about the bible but i have has a taste of the bible and its truly addicting. I've scratched the surface and it was an opportunity i would have NEVER traded for anything in the world. <br /><br />What was the most eye opening thing that you learned in the last nine months? <br />I think the most eye opening thing that i learned in the last nine months is my honest, desperate need for God's grace and help in EVERY SINGLE aspect of my life. I went into SBS thinking that my relationship with God was pretty good. I went into SBS with some messed up understandings of the bible and who God was but i walked away knowing that I need Him more than ever. In order to have a fufilling life I need him to be the one to walk along side me. To take me by the hand. I need to partner with the Creator of the Universe to walk out what I was destined to walk it. 'But Jesus looked at them and said "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible" (Matt 19:26) Let me tell you this is so true for my life and yours as well.<br /><br />What was the biggest challenge you had to face? <br />There were two things that challenged me the most while I was there. This understanding that I was studying the bible for the Lord and to give out rather than my own head knowledge and just working to get it done. Every single book i would have to constantly remind myself that the book charting was God's word and there was a serious challenge behind that. I had to remind myself that i was such a blessed opportunity to actually get to study Gods word and i had that privilege. It wasn't just work. Secondly, to be perfectly honest it was the blessed relationship that I was in with Ryan. Learning to walk out life with someone while you are going through one of the most intense seasons of life was not only the most rewarding thing, it was also extremely heavy at times. But back to the most eye opening thing that i learned was that I need God grace and help especially in this area of my life and God was always there to lead and guide the way. **Shout out to my amazing man, Thank you for the last 9 months and being there to challenge me, teach me and push me every step of the way. Meeting you has changed my life and I am so excited for what is to come.** But seriously, it was hard work, SBS truly is one of the best places to meet someone because you get to see them at their best and their worst and its all in the midst of studying God's word so the real, honest, raw them comes out. <br /><br />What is next? <br />This is a question that I am still wrestling with. Mainly because i dont really know what is next. I could tell you word for word exactly how I want things to go but I know in the end its not about what I want its about what God wants and that is the best possible place to be. As we speak Canada will be my place of rest for the next few weeks and then its back to Oregon to work and pay off some school loans so that I can be back in missions full time. I do believe that there are good, long term things in store with Ryan which would challenge me to study Chinese and work towards being back in Asia in just a few short years....until that point, I just want to bring God's truth and light to where ever I am. Please be praying for me in this area as I am not really sure what God has in store. I know that its Good. I know that I have been created for a life that is beyond ordinary. I CANNOT WAIT.....<br /> GOD IS GOOD. ALL THE TIME. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLXBeHvvb_bJCOtGW4xWgqTKD8y0psQkYPUBFsIcPiKt-Ai_xtSwUQHj6yn2y_Xn2TFWAIZ1y0RtEfsKS-g4iXd3MBDgUlLS_Tyiv_jQr5L48ZgeNXrR3bfOPL3UVgT83Bsa4BN7Tj1LI/s1600/332417_10150476311717962_504047961_8655279_1930139127_o.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLXBeHvvb_bJCOtGW4xWgqTKD8y0psQkYPUBFsIcPiKt-Ai_xtSwUQHj6yn2y_Xn2TFWAIZ1y0RtEfsKS-g4iXd3MBDgUlLS_Tyiv_jQr5L48ZgeNXrR3bfOPL3UVgT83Bsa4BN7Tj1LI/s400/332417_10150476311717962_504047961_8655279_1930139127_o.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5688572196462428850" /></a><br />(me with my school leader Lachlan on graduation day)miss.noel.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701688013461612138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4359661179553117775.post-24492688876280183172011-10-26T00:57:00.000-07:002011-10-26T01:21:03.788-07:00a chance to think...I can breathe but its only for a short second. Finished Isaiah on Monday, Micah in one day, half way through Joel and then onto Jeremiah on Friday with a slice of a test on the side. It makes for a pretty good week if i do say so myself. SBS is coming to a end, I have my paper chain on my wall counting down the days until we leave for Canada and as I walk through the cooler streets in the quiet mornings I am just consistently hit with the fact that my life has been forever changed. I have so much to say with definitely not enough time or the ability to wrap my thoughts around things. I just want to leave you with two things that have been on my heart and mind for the last week especially. <br /><br />As most of you know I have been doing convalescent home ministry for the past 7 months since i have been here. Some weeks are better than others but every week I am faced with the reality that growing older and death happens to everyone. I am faced with the fact that the gospel is essential in a persons life and at points of sitting in a wheelchair/bed for 20 something hours a day it can be the only hope one has for making it through the day. So there are a few people at the convalescent home that are my favorites...there is the lady that constantly tells EVERYONE they are beautiful in Chinese, the man that always says he is doing bad and shakes you away from him, the cutest little lady ever that always wants me to pray for her knees and ears, the lady that for the majority of the summer sat with her pants off and just in her underwear because it was so hott. I feel like over the last 7 months I have begun to really look at these grandmas and grandpas as people who are truly special to me and have impacted my life in such a cool way. My favorite lady is a woman who always sits in the front row of wheelchairs, some days she looks tired and some days she seems more alert. I make a constant effort to get down to her level and just stare at her right in the eyes and pray for her. She has no idea what I am saying and she is completely mute. I continue to pray every single week that God will heal her, that she will have strength and that she will be able to come to know who he is. Last week the most amazing thing happened. ( I like to call her Ellouise because that is my grandmothers name) I got down to pray for Ellouise and when i finished praying I told her 'Jesus loves you' in Chinese..and the most amazing thing happened. She nodded her head YES!!! She understood what I said and she agreed with it. Then i proceeded to tell her that I loved her in Chinese and tears just filled her eyes. She moved her hand up to wipe away her tears. I was blown away. What one would think was a helpless woman was really a woman that God was doing work in even by us being there for a couple hours each week. God is so good and he is so gracious to us. Please be praying for Ellouise that God would completely heal her and that she would be able to speak. I pray by faith that it will happen and she will talk to me before I leave to go home. <br /><br />In contrast to that, my heart was broken the other day as I was walking down the street in Dan Shui, there is just so much idolatry and false worship here it blows me away. (There are days when its hard for me to breath outside because they are burning fake money to their false gods.) As I am walking home and just praying for the area, I come upon a puppet show. This is a grand puppet show and there is one little doll which looks quite like some sort of god that they worship here, because they were right across the street from one of the temples, I can assume they were directly related. I walked by to see a family, father, mother and son watching this puppet show and laughing. I couldn't help but be very angry and sad at the same time. These false gods all around them either have absolutely no effect on the people of Taiwan and they are completely apathetic to it or they are bowing down to them believing that these gods are bringing them the things they need or they are being able to reach back to their ancestors. Whatever the case I just proceed to ask God why....<br /><br />In one week I had seen such contrasts and I realize that as I open my eyes up to the things around me, there is contrast after contrast. God is trying to show me that I have a responsibility. I have a calling. This world is corrupt. They are broken. They are longing to be loved. I have the answer. SO FREELY for everyone. Jesus. He isn't a quick fix to all the problems but he is something that is rooted deep in people that saves their soul. He has been so gracious to give up everything because he does love us and his love never ends. I know it sounds all clique but its true. Its so true. He is the one thing in life that is completely worth living for. If you haven't figured that out yet, you are missing out... I pray that God would continue to stir my hearts and all of our hearts to make him known to those around us that don't know him. That we don't have to be the ones in the wheelchairs years from now who have spent their whole life bowing down to those false gods that we saw in the puppet-shows of life but rather we would be the ones bowing down to the Creator of the Universe awaiting the day that we get to meet him face to face....miss.noel.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701688013461612138noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4359661179553117775.post-79179524554516033492011-09-04T16:36:00.000-07:002011-09-04T16:39:03.555-07:00trusting in God's faithfulness.'Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.' Hebrews 12:1-2miss.noel.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701688013461612138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4359661179553117775.post-2294444870668809142011-08-21T07:52:00.000-07:002011-08-21T08:20:22.946-07:008.21.11
<br />Wow, how the last month has just flown by. 5 weeks in the Pentateuch and I realize more and more my need for Jesus and a deep realization of just how faithful God is. As SBS is more than half way over and thoughts of what is to come is constantly on my mind, I have to remind myself to stay in the present. Oh what a beautiful present it is too, I don't want to pass it up. I feel like God is really molding me and shaping me in to the Woman that He is calling me to be. I'll be the first to say that this is hard work. Its hard putting all your eggs in one basket. Its hard putting all your eggs in God's basket and giving him complete control of your life. But its sooo good. My words will never do it justice. As God has been teaching me how to trust him, I am realizing that He truly never fails me. They ways that he provides and blesses me doesnt always look like I want it to look but somehow he always does it in his perfect timing. I want to share with you a few things that God has shown me/ done for me in the last week.
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<br />So last sunday I woke up with a small pit in my stomach. Knowing that I only had $150NT left to my name (which is about $5bucks usd) I decided that getting a coffee with God in an airconditioning location was worth the majority of my money that I had left. I was in desperate need from some time away from my house and sometime with just my Father in heaven. As I got to sit down and really reflect on his love for me and really just trusting him with what I had left he was so gracious to provide. Continually on a daily basis the fact that I dont have my school fees is on my mind. I feel like even though God called me here I still have a responsibility to pay those. So needless to say God knows exactly what I need..I showed up to a prayer time that evening just really ready to commit myself to WHATEVER God was asking me to do so that I would be able to first and for most eat and secondly be able to pay my school fees. During worship and a time of just repeating over and over to myself "I trust you. I trust you....' God showed up in mighty ways. My school leader walked over and handed me a wad of money. I just started to bawl. God is so good and his timing is soooooo perfect. I was able to pay $200 of the $1000 that I owe for my school fees and I was able to have money for food for the rest of this month. Wow is he good or what!!!!! He knows. Only he knows. Its weird ya know because this whole experience has been pretty humbling. Its hard to ask people for money. Its hard to put a need out there that you have but I am learning more and more that the body of Christ was meant to come along side one another and help when there is a need. My thoughts and minds have been completely changed in regards to those who choose to support people in missions. That includes my faithful supporters. I praise you and thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening to the Lord. For hearing his voice and for partnering to advance the gospel around the world. That is the most important thing. Its not about me. Its not about what I can do. Only something like 5% of Christians get proper biblical teaching and the opportunity to share the gospel to unreached people around the world. I feel like God is leading me into this and I see his hand and how he wants to support me through this. It isnt going to be easy. It isnt going to glamorous at times but its understanding that this life was made for something more and really being a good steward of the things he has so faithfully provided me with. I feel so blessed that God wants to use me to advance his kingdom. I feel so blessed that my heavenly father loves me so much that He gave up the most important thing to him that I may be called his.
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<br />Today on the train as I was going to meet my friend Kelsey for lunch, God really showed me his love for us but the way that this little girl across from me was lying in her mothers lap. I just felt likt God showed me that sometimes he looks down on us and is just proud of us even though we arent really even doing anything. As I began to observe this girl and her mother some more, I watched her look up into her mothers eyes and ask her a question and she gently responded. God does this too for us. He sometimes moves our head into the proper position so that we can really just rest in his presence, much like this little girl was doing in her mothers lap. This was really just a beautiful reminder and I really felt the love of God surrounding me.
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<br /> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM5JJBf8UTtwXpZhTpxxteGbiDWz4hKUAq95osTM1LVIWXbhHt0UeoBG88uBQZdpVdQnUmN12WwYhnbbvwlPDOHxQOejPsorgru_gI46ObKoW5kfWMKCHy6Iw0CcuPNYNdMhlZzYZog40/s1600/IMG_0280.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM5JJBf8UTtwXpZhTpxxteGbiDWz4hKUAq95osTM1LVIWXbhHt0UeoBG88uBQZdpVdQnUmN12WwYhnbbvwlPDOHxQOejPsorgru_gI46ObKoW5kfWMKCHy6Iw0CcuPNYNdMhlZzYZog40/s400/IMG_0280.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5643329285991027202" /></a>
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<br />I could sit her and begin to tell you all the things that I need prayer for or the finances that need to be met, but I just dont feel thats what God is leading me to tonight. I want instead to leave you with a challenge...
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<br />Do you really have a genuine understanding of how much God loves YOU?
<br />Are you walking in obedience to the things that God is asking of you?
<br />I pray that you would be getting a deep understanding of the love and faithfulness of God. He is so gracious to reveal himself to you as soon as you ask of him. Thank you Father for the beauty you have shown me lately. I TRUST YOU.
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<br />God is good. miss.noel.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701688013461612138noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4359661179553117775.post-4966153945926443662011-07-23T22:23:00.000-07:002011-07-23T22:24:16.818-07:007.24.11 update.Good morning friends and family. I sit here on my Sabbath just writing an update because well…its about that time again. 4 months have come and gone and God has been forever faithful. I love it here, I really do. Above really loving it here….I love my Creator. Every single day I find myself just thanking him for the relationship that I have with him. I was deciding whether or not to do a video update today but I decided against it because I just figured I would be a little too emotional for it. <br /><br />This past week has been a good one. By far the toughest week I had in SBS by far. At one point, I do remember the words coming out of my mouth…. ‘I don’t want to do this anymore…SBS that is…’ Father forgive me for those words. They were out of pure exhaustion, physically, mentally and emotionally. God has been rocking my world and every single book just seems to top the one previous. I have never been blown away by God’s word so much.<br /><br />I write today to speak on a few topics that have really just been on my heart and that I have deeply been pondering since I have been here. First off, this idea of faith and God being faithful. In our society today we leave little room for God to be faithful as we develop a faith that is based more on what we can do rather than what God can really do. I have never been so tested with my faith since I have become a Christian. I am not referring to my faith in Christ and him as my savior but more so the idea that God is faithful and I have faith that he will provide in all area of my life. Does God even want to provide for me? Is he good? Does he really care about the little things in my life? Am I worthy to ask for things from God? I think the biggest thing that I have been wrestling with lately is this idea of Not fully trusting God for things in my life because I have this honest fear that He wont provide. That is such a skewed thought process. One that has developed over time, as I have grown up, as I have been let down by people and the world around me…I have this fear that the Creator of the Universe is going to be the same. BUT there is good news….HE IS FOREVER FAITHFUL. That provision may never come like I want it to look like but its exactly how He wants it to look and it cant be any different because its not in his nature to be unfaithful. Its impossible for him. WOW. God is so amazing. As I sit here spending time with him in this amazing little coffee shop I am processing somethings through the book of Genesis that I just studied last week. <br /><br />God was so faithful, from beginning to end. When man was stupid, fallen, screw ups, not trusting in Him, worshiping other gods…GOD WAS STILL FAITHFUL. He still desired people. He desired them to know him, to be his children, to give them promises, to speak life into them. Man was continually stupid (much like we are today ) and God was continually faithful. (much like he is today). For our Final Application for the book, we were asked what character we related most with, I picked Jacob. Jacob wrestled with God. Much like I feel my heart does on a daily basis. I think so much of it was in Jacobs head. He had seen God continually be faithful, he has seen God shower mercy and love to his people. He has seen God provide time and time again but he still had the hardest time trusting him. God just had to smack him around a bit. It was good. But that is much like the process God has been taking me through in my life. He is faithful. Continually. In the midst of everything I am going through. He comes through. WOW. It blows me away. I have to trust in his goodness. I have to trust in his character and nature. HE IS GOOD.<br /><br />“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knows, the door will be opened.” (Matt 7:7-8)<br /><br />The next thing that has really been on my heart through out SBS is this growing desire for Asia, for missions and for the gospel to be spread. This honestly is so foreign to the majority of Americans. We all tend to go about our lives doing the things that make us happy or the things we think make us happy…yeah I will admit my heart was there at one time. But its not now….I don’t think that living the American lifestyle is wrong, I have a lot of friends that choose that and they are some of the most amazing people. I am only saying that I have been woken up to what I feel like God is calling me to. What is amazing about is that I see such a desire that God has for the people of the world. All of them. Americans, Taiwanese, Chinese. We are all his children and he desires to use all of us. ALL OF US. Some for going, some for sending, some for working, some for preaching, some teaching, so building…we all have some sort of calling on our life. The most important thing we could do in our lives is be obedient to that calling. Whatever it is and to through our entire selves into that calling. I think of Paul, I think of the way that when he was called for the kingdom, he didn’t hold back. HE did EVERYTHING that God asked of him, When God said Go he went, He trusted that God would be faithful and that He knew that God was so deserving of every single ounce of him. That’s how I feel right now. God is so deserving of everything I have to give. I understand that its all a process though. It doesn’t mean that I just jump right into what God is calling but the process of getting to the final destination is how God prepares us and works in us. Right now the first step in that process is finishing SBS…4 months down….5 to go. WOW. Its flying by. <br /><br />I come before you humbly and just ask you for your prayerful hearts. In my biggest struggle to know if God will provide, especially financially for me to be here. I feel like he has called me here. I feel like there has also been obstacles in front of me as I have been here. All of which are hard but leading me to lean on him so much more. As my brothers and sisters in Christ, I pray that you would ask if there is any way you could help meet my need. If its only prayers…honestly that would be just enough…if you feel led to give…that would be more than amazing. Whatever the case, I hope this blog post/ letter just help open your eyes to where my heart is right now. I could not be doing any of this without your support in my life. I thank you all so much for the ways that God has been using you in my life and I pray that God would continue to work in your life and be refreshing your spirits. Below are a few specific prayer requests…please email me with what I can be praying for you as well.<br /><br />Prayer Requests:<br />*School fees: are due in less than a week, and due to 2 unexpected Hong Kong trips for visa runs I need $1000 for my school fees. <br />*Basic needs: for food, toiletries and the ability to get coffee on Sabbaths ☺ <br />*That God would continue to put Taiwanese in my path that I can share the gospel with and build relationships with.<br />* My new relationship with Ryan ☺ that God would be directing and guiding us with exactly what he has planned in the future for us! <br /><br />Love you guys, May God bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you. AMEN!miss.noel.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701688013461612138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4359661179553117775.post-65256775113678839442011-07-10T03:13:00.000-07:002011-07-10T03:31:25.985-07:007.10.11So i write again. Sundays really arent the best days to write because well honestly, I stare at a computer 6 other days of the week for hours on end and the last thing i want to do is stare at it some more on sunday. ha..but with that said, I find that writing my thoughts about the things that I am learning really just allows for me to more deeply process them. <br /><br />I just want to start by saying that God is good. always. I am being continually blow away by his word. This week we have moved into the book of Revelation which is our last book before we move into the Old Testament and let me tell you this book is AWESOME. For so long I have just been so scared about what this book is saying when what I am really learning is that God is so freaking awesome and that Christ is beyond victorious in it. I am so blown away by what is packed into this book and the ways those in heaven are just continually worshipping the Lord.<br /><br />In class on friday, we were talking about worship in the throne room as our speaker had got to that part of the book (chapters 4 and 5) and then it led into our own worship. With a cross cultural school and a number of different languages the words 'Holy holy holy is the Lord God Almighty who was and is and is to come!" had never had such an impact on me. With my eyes closed and hearing those languages spoke out around me, i stood in awe of the beauty of the Lord and the worship of his people. All different yet all the same. All beautiful and perfectly created in His image. Wow. He is so worthy. <br /><br />As the weeks have been just passing me by, I am finding that God is really just taking me back to the beginning of why He called me here. I would never imagine that Taiwan would have such a crucial impact on my life...but i see that in just a short time He has already been speaking into the promises that he has been sharing with me for years. The promises that he has been revealing little bit little. It truly is amazing. I dont know why i ever doubt the amazingness and provision of this BIG God that i serve. As my brain is just over flowing with thoughts, I just want to encourage you all to cling to the only one who is truly worth it. Fall at his feet because He is so gracious to give you the good things that he has promised you. <br /><br />"Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to recieve glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created."<br /><br />I praise you Father that your mercies are new everyday. I praise you for the hard days and challanges of charting, for the hard challenges of language. I praise you for your gospel and your complete provision. You alone are worthy of my praise.<br /><br />Amen.miss.noel.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701688013461612138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4359661179553117775.post-75651897307665231152011-06-21T21:34:00.000-07:002011-06-21T23:29:23.972-07:003 months have come and gone....A part of me has been somewhat dreading this update just because I feel like there is so much that I could possibly write and say and i really haven't had one day to process it all. <br /><br />Galatians. Titus. Ephesians. Mark. Luke. Acts. Philippians. Colossians. Philemon. 1Timothy. 1&2Thessalonians. Romans. 1&2 Corinthians. 2Timothy. Hebrews. 1&2Peter. Jude. James....<br /><br />These are all the books that we have inductively studied in the last 3 months...21 book and wow has God has just an amazing impact in those 21 books. I never thought that the bible would become so alive and so beautiful to me. I never thought I would be able to look at the Scriptures and have a desire to really to just eat up the word of God. <br /><br />As I look back on the adventure to get to Taiwan, I just praise God for how good He is. For how He has just transformed my heart for Asia. I look back to stepping off the plane in Japan and I just remember having so much peace about where I was and the adventure I was about to embark on. Day by day God continues to allow my heart to be stirred up for these people. They are so beautiful, so gracious, so loving, so different from anything I have ever experienced in America and it just draws me more and more to bring these people to an understanding of Jesus, of the gospel, of this amazing life that they could have. <br /><br />Everyday here is so much the same but so different. Although the routine is quite similar God never fails to rejuvenate my heart and bring me to a deeper understanding of who he is in light of everything that seems so busily going on around me. Its truly amazing. Book after book, I have seen nothing but Gods unconditional love and grace for my life. I have see the righteous judge come to life off the pages of the greatest love story EVER told. WOW. my heart is just jumping thinking about this...<br /><br />Hardships and Trials:<br /><br />'Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing or your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its fully effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.' James 1:2-4<br /><br />Things haven't always been easy the past three months but even in the midst of hardship and tough times God has shown that he is always completely faithful to take me by the hand and lead me in the direction of his cross, his face and his gracious love. God has spoken to me about really lying down a comfortable lifestyle and whether or not He is simply enough for me...this question is extremely hard when I have lived such a comfortable life with amazing friends and family, always being provided for and now God is asking me to be challenged...to trust Him, to fix my eyes on what he has put before me even if that means that I have to give up what is behind me even for a little bit. Testing comes with learning that God is faithful. When my roommate from back home passed away a couple months ago, things were hard, lonely and i really felt like no one understood...no one but God...through his overwhelming love and peace I was able to feel comfort and began to see the relationships that he put around me were perfect for meeting me right where I was at . WOW again, He is beyond amazing even in the midst of hard times. I see that He takes me through hard things so that I will be brought from glory to glory. This process. This life we life...there are bound to be hard times and everyday is truly unknown BUT he is constant. He remain the same. JOY JOY JOY. <br /><br />Although I have experiences hardships and trials here, I think what gets more is the hardships, trials and darkness that is going on around me. On a daily basis it breaks my heart. I see these people working so hard for a religion that is fake. false. producing more and more darkness. On days when I wake up and i can smell the burning smell of fake money of darkness, as I walk down the street and pass multiple temples my heart lacks understanding and all i can do is just pray. They people are stuck in a fearful religion...I am beyond thankful that I have freedom, that i have ultimate joy and that I have a love that is everlasting...but how selfish am i to keep that to myself. How selfish am I really with the best thing that has ever happened to me...pretty selfish. That breaks my heart. Father forgive me. I see the darkness here, the deadness and it makes me want to be a part of something bigger than myself, something bigger than YWAM or SBS. I want to desperately fix my eyes on the kingdom and have God work through me as his vessel. <br />The other day I was waiting for a bus and I was sitting there smiling at a little girl, she was smiling back and playing peek-a-boo with me. (Asian kids ARE THE CUTEST KIDS EVER) I could see the joy and innocence in her. I could see the childlike faith that she had and the fearless life that she was living...trusting in those around her to give her love. As I scanned the people around my eyes stopped at this Buddhist monk...so plain, so lifeless, i couldn't even tell if it was a man or woman...as i was just sitting there watching and praying, I felt like God brought me back to this little girl, He spoke very clearly that this monk used to be full of joy and life like this little girl, so carefree and loved...then at some point in her life, things changed. This broke my heart. This broke God's heart....Asia needs the gospel. Taiwan needs the gospel. <br /><br />Ministry:<br />This week was my last week at the convalescent home, its possible that God will bring me back to this ministry for the next 3 months but its possible that he could use me somewhere else. This last week was bitter sweet... It was sad leaving all the beautiful faces that I got to see and pray with every week. I feel that God does really use us there, and our time is not wasted even though it seems like sometimes it seems like all we get to do is look them in the eyes or just hold their hands, God's love is really transferred through us to them. <br /><br />'Just so, I tell you there is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents' (Luke 15:10)<br /><br />Every week we have been singing this Taiwanese worship song that talks about the love of God and there is always this man who likes to play the drum when we sing...its so cute and we have just seen his heart be opened up more and more to the fact that we are there each week. This week we pulled him and another lady aside and shared the gospel with them. While Grace, one of the Taiwanese girls on my team were speaking to them, I just got to pray and I prayed that the Lord would just continue to break down the walls and really speak truth into their hearts. I could feel the walls that were built up...old people are stubborn...so i just asked that those would be removed...and boy was God faithful. The angels were surely rejoicing when God's son came to know Him that day. I know the lady walked away with a seed deeply planted in her heart and i believe that before the year is over, she will come to know the Lord as well. Wow Go God. AWESOME. <br /><br />Father bring on what you have next for me. I come before you with open arms and an open heart to make your name known here....<br /><br />Prayer Requests:<br /><br />As it is, I know and believe that God is completely faithful, but I come before humbly and ask you for your praying hearts. The power in prayer is just amazing and i see that God uses us as prayer warriors for the body of Christ to build one another up. Please send me your prayer requests if i can be praying for anything you have as well....<br />First off, If you could be praying for the visa situations...A couple of blog posts back, I wrote about the visa situation and currently as it stands the visas have been denied and I am living off of a 2 month volunteer visa which means i have to leave the country every 2 months, which you could imagine isn't the cheapest thing ever. Pray that their would be breakthrough and that our visas would be accepted so that we may get our ARC visas.<br />Secondly, for finances, coming to Taiwan, God spoke very clearly about not having to worry about finances. I haven't worried and God continues to give me peace but i would ask that you might pray about joining my monthly support team or even helping make my way to Hong Kong or school fees. Thank you all that have been so willing and loving to support me this far. God has been so gracious and has used you in mighty ways in my time here in Taiwan so far. <br />Lastly, just for perseverance with the Word of God and the intense schedule that is about to start up again. When things get hard and tiring that I would really be able to press into the Rock that can sustain me. Wow he is sooo good.<br /><br />'What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? ' (Romans 8:31-32)<br /><br />Let me just leave this by telling you all that I am beyond grateful for all of you in my life. I am beyond grateful for all the support and desire to see my relationship with the Lord grow and the gospel to be spread. May we all continue to walk in righteousness and seek the face of our heavenly Father. <br />Amen.miss.noel.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701688013461612138noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4359661179553117775.post-535861516064733792011-06-13T16:00:00.000-07:002011-06-13T16:12:20.630-07:00Psalm 90I was just extremely encouraged by Moses prayer this morning and decided to share it. It just really put into perspective how amazingly big and power the God that we serve is and how we are but a little tiny speck in the grand scheme of things...<br /><br />Psalm 90<br /><br />Lord, you have been our dwelling place in all generations<br />Before the mountains were brought forth,<br />or ever you had formed the earth and the world,<br />from everlasting to everlasting you are God.<br />You return man to dust and say, "Return, O children of man!"<br />For a thousand years in your sight are but as yesterday when it is past,<br />or as a watch in the night.<br />You sweep them away as with a flood; they are like a dream,<br />like grass that is renewed in the morning:<br />in the morning it flourishes and is renewed;<br />in the evening it fades and withers.<br />For we are brought to an end by your anger,<br />by your wrath we are dismayed.<br />You have set our iniquities before you,<br />our secret sins in the light of your presence.<br />For all our days pass away under your wrath;<br />we bring our years to an end like a sigh. <br />The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty;<br />yet their span is but toil and trouble;<br />they are soon gone, and we fly away.<br />Who considers the power of your anger,<br />and your wrath according to the fear of you?<br />So teach us to number our days<br />that we may get a heart of wisdom.<br />Return, O Lord! How long?<br />Have pity on your servants!<br />Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love,<br />that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.<br />Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, <br />and for as many years as we have seen evil.<br />Let your work be shown to your servant,<br />and your glorious power to their children.<br />Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us,<br />and establish the work of our hands upon us;<br />yes establish the work our hands!<br /><br />Amen Father!miss.noel.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701688013461612138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4359661179553117775.post-60427376133528598582011-05-26T02:22:00.001-07:002011-05-26T02:38:40.323-07:005.26.11So i just had to post before I started to work today. Its been quite the week with 1Corinthians; all this talk of head coverings, spiritual gifts, singleness, marriage and everything else in between was starting to make my head spin just a little bit. Today was ministry day and it was exactly what I need to just confirm why i am here in Taiwan, why i am here on this earth and why I am a believer of Jesus. <br /><br />We showed up at the elderly persons home today just as we usually do, My team and I have been more brave the last two weeks, learning a Taiwanese song, preaching the gospel, asking people to pray for them and really just proclaiming life over them. Today as we sang and hung out with the beautiful people there. I got to just stare into the eyes of this women below for quite sometime. It was almost if i could read what they were saying. Lonely, sad, glimmer of hope, thank you, the list goes on and on but just seeing those emotions so deep in her eyes made me really think about why am i here to do what I do, Its all for Jesus. It starts with him and ends with him. As i continue to just pray for this women that she would come to know this Savior that cherishes her so much, i just feel like she really just desires to be loved. To receive the one thing that we are to walk out in. <br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5atwOBd8fCF6vIjDoizc8yXMUySjOE8kWJPBYmuNjsZMSmfIADCgAT88nZ5GeNJ2VknI6nn_3K2BHOQbTcrZZrewWO_n4tE9NIh4TSQViOFDGpnSGYV5mimfJHxmNfoE1eDQjW2fUGBU/s1600/IMG_0087.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5atwOBd8fCF6vIjDoizc8yXMUySjOE8kWJPBYmuNjsZMSmfIADCgAT88nZ5GeNJ2VknI6nn_3K2BHOQbTcrZZrewWO_n4tE9NIh4TSQViOFDGpnSGYV5mimfJHxmNfoE1eDQjW2fUGBU/s400/IMG_0087.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5610956587833162370" /></a><br /><br /><br />I realize that God's love is over flowing in us and through us and He desires us to have his heart and love the people around us like he does. Sometimes that means saying the hard things that we dont want to say but its standing up for truth, its being patient with those around us, its looking to the works of Jesus and living out life as he did. Its being able to admit when you are struggling or you need prayer. God is teaching me so much about his love for me lately and the way that I can love others. <br /><br />As we continued to sing and chat and pray with the rest of the elderly people at the home, a man that Melanie was talking to seemed very interested in know more about Jesus. About what it means to come under full surrender and giving his life to the Lord. And he did just that. PRAISE JESUS. All of heaven is rejoicing that the lost sheep has come to its home to its shepherd. I am so incredibly encouraged to see someone not knowing about Jesus their whole life but then understanding his love and peace towards the end and getting to walk out the life that God has called for them even for a short time. God is good. soo good. ALWAYS. <br />THANK YOU JESUS.miss.noel.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701688013461612138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4359661179553117775.post-75097708320043829742011-05-20T07:08:00.000-07:002011-05-20T07:35:12.934-07:005.20.11<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOAcEOuSUibFDrnzw6C21O0XBgzccxEymW8W1MeLTltbSAL9IqGcNSgiAIeFWEfH5E0U_qwjGfjUiaHgtlmABk9LZHrb1IrvhQiLHFyh7VT88WAq1XkQMIZmbBSlNblz6fffU7yr8hMHY/s1600/IMG_0116.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOAcEOuSUibFDrnzw6C21O0XBgzccxEymW8W1MeLTltbSAL9IqGcNSgiAIeFWEfH5E0U_qwjGfjUiaHgtlmABk9LZHrb1IrvhQiLHFyh7VT88WAq1XkQMIZmbBSlNblz6fffU7yr8hMHY/s400/IMG_0116.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5608805422405308018" /></a><br /><br />I find myself continually at a loss for words when I am wanting to blog. I have such a deep desire to write and share what is on my heart but then it seems like when I start to type the words just go somewhere else than on the page. For some reason this week seems a little different. As we are finishing up one of my favorite books in the entire bible, Romans, I realize that I have been faced with so many challenges this week, some big, some small, some pointless but all have meaning. Whether I really have been able to process it or not, God is breaking me. He is molding me for something bigger than myself. <br /><br />'For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.' Romans 3:23-24<br /><br />Um if that doesn't hit you smack in the face, I don't know what does. I am a failure. I am a dirty sinner. BUT through Christ I am justified. Through a free gift that I didn't have to do anything for but just accept. WOW. As I begin to realize my dyer need for the one who has created me, I cant help but just fall to my knees and be thankful that in everything situation he has me. He is carrying me along in the palm of His hands...<br />I am truly nothing without Him. This is both humbling and heart breaking. <br />I go about my week and do my charts sometimes I feel so close to the Lord and he is breaking through with amazing revelation. Sometimes I sit there and stare at my computer. I watch my fingers hit the keys and think to myself that I am so amazingly lucky that I am chosen. That I am HIS. <br /><br />I am reminded of Isaiah 43. (1-4) <br />'Fear not for I have redeemed you;<br />I have summoned you by name, YOU ARE MINE.<br />When you pass through the waters,<br />I will be with you;<br />and when you pass through the rivers <br />they will not sweep over you.<br />When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;<br />they flames will not set you ablaze.<br />For I am the Lord, your God,<br />the Holy One of Israel, your Savior...<br />Since you are precious and honored in my sight, <br />and because I love you...<br /><br />as days pass into weeks and weeks are passing into months. I know a few things to be true...<br />God is EVERYTHING, that i need, want and could possibly ask for.<br />JESUS is the only way. <br /><br />Although my thoughts might seemed somewhat jumbled, they make complete sense to me. I am continually blown away by how God is continuing to stretch me, excite me and use me even here in Taiwan. I love it here. I love my classmates and staff. I love the people of Taiwan. <br />'I am melting your heart for Asia' He tells me. <br />I get to interact with beautiful people in their rawest form without a single thing in common with them. For the ones that know him already. MY heart melts...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEislc7W1qk8CIIC3MwhfneWywvHhW7eI-tHZ6W1iz3904mnxhphDqT1m6PGMIbSiDPk6Snn4A13WLTSEyi4DrLdJICQrj6fx0vZ4GjvITSJViHgze1_9vGZJZft0JHUB9Sk2ukGJNHUH_s/s1600/IMG_0096.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEislc7W1qk8CIIC3MwhfneWywvHhW7eI-tHZ6W1iz3904mnxhphDqT1m6PGMIbSiDPk6Snn4A13WLTSEyi4DrLdJICQrj6fx0vZ4GjvITSJViHgze1_9vGZJZft0JHUB9Sk2ukGJNHUH_s/s400/IMG_0096.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5608805657071186210" /></a><br /><br />For the ones that don't know him yet.....my heart breaks....<br /><br />God is transforming me for the people of this world. I am a vessel for kingdom of God and I pray he uses me to the fullest.miss.noel.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701688013461612138noreply@blogger.com0